She was green when we met. She hadn’t been touched. I remember teasing her that she was too old to be that green. She was twenty-four. We preserved it until marriage. Our honeymoon was her first intimacy. She asked why she didn’t feel the pain everyone said she would feel the first time. I told her different people experience it differently.
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Seven years and two kids later, my wife was cheating on me with a guy she met online. I saw the change in her and decided to investigate. I first came across their chat on Facebook when I went through her computer. It was friendly. Knowing-me-knowing-you kind of messages, but I marked the guy’s name and checked his photos.
Weeks later, when I went through her WhatsApp chat, this guy was there with a different name having a mature conversation. They discussed our marriage. The guy wasn’t married, so he asked the questions and my wife answered. They discussed s]e[x too. The guy asked how it was like doing it for the first time with me.
They had exchanged crazy photos—the kind of photos that show the depth of what our clothes cover. That’s not only the problem. They had met twice and were intimate at the second meeting. I went crazy asking myself what I did wrong for her to repay me with such mistrust.
When I asked her why she did it, she had no explanation. She said she didn’t know what happened. “Is it about money?” I asked. She said the guy never gave her money. “Is it about looks?” She shook her head. I pressed for reasons because something might have compelled her to do it. She said, “I wanted to know how big feels like. I know it’s childish but that’s the only reason I can think of.”
After seven years of marriage, my wife used cheating to tell me I’m small. The guy sent her photos of his ‘joystick,’ and she saw it was bigger than mine, so she got tempted. A woman I paid to marry. The mother of my kids. A woman I take care of went out to give herself out for free.
Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married
My kids are with me, but she’s not here. We’ve been separated for over seven months, but families have tried to put us together again. Anytime I think about it, my temperature goes up and I decide not to see her face again. They say time will heal, so I shouldn’t divorce her yet, but it doesn’t look likely. I have five more months to decide, but if seven months didn’t heal the pain, what will the rest of the months do?
—Gabby
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